Dear Autumn,

You're a challenging one aren't you?

Along with your vibrant influx of colour, you bring winds of change.

Of challenge.

Of slight discomfort.

Yet, you've always been my favourite. Despite the struggles nestling just underneath the surface, you bring with you something so special.

A rusty hopefulness.

The chance of something new; a fresh start, a new beginning.

As the leaves flutter down from the branches, their job for the year complete, I imagine brushing away my worries just as simply.

But, it's not that easy is it?

Unlike your relentlessly happy sibling Summer, it's easier to feel alone when you're around, Autumn. Troubles and worries creep up on me in the early evening dusk. As the nights draw in quicker than before, I find myself contemplating a lot.

It becomes far too easy to get caught up in a whirlwind of negative thoughts. Like the leaves whistling, weaving and winding their way through the wind, my mind takes over and anxiety kicks in.

But, that's okay. I can manage with the worries; they teach me new things about myself and they remind me that I care. For months during Summer, everything is lightweight, free, fun and easy. Autumn arrives and we're thrust back in to the realms of the real world, as suddenly as we're jolted out into the cold. 

But, you're not a burden to me Autumn. Far from that. Instead, you teach me to embrace the changing landscape. By testing and challenging me in more ways than one, you remind me that the best memories come from not running and hiding from that which scares me. 

Autumn; you're a time for snuggling, for curling up in the warmth with a mug of tea as big as my face. 

For laughter, for music concerts, for new books, new friends, new moments to treasure. 

A time for reflection, for realising that everything is going to be alright one way or another. 

For remembering who and what means the most to me, and clinging onto them as we head towards the magic that is Winter.

You may not be as warm and inviting as Summer, but my gosh Autumn, you sure have my heart.

A

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xxxx

'The Now'.

In the past few weeks I've spent less time on YouTube than I have previously due to being too busy to sit down and catch up on the creators I follow most. However, whilst struggling to get off to sleep the other night, I thought I'd peruse my subscription box. In doing so, I came across the latest video from Will Darbyshire, a relatively new YouTuber entitled, 'The Now' and it really hit home.

In the video, Will discusses the idea of living in the 'now' as when it really comes down to it, that's all we actually have. As he says, the past is just a collection of previous presents; the future is an infinite number of 'nows' that we are yet to experience.

What Will then goes on to explore is the dilemmas we can all face in choosing how we experience our 'now'. A lot of us, myself included, struggle with thoughts of what we're going to do in the future and how we're going to get there. And this can sometimes mean that we miss out on the beauty that simply is, now. 

The choice between following our hearts or our minds; the predicament of opting whether to be rational and make decisions based on our futures or whether to act spontaneously in the spur of the moment isn't an easy one. Will talks about how he has recently started living each day for what it is, and one of the points that struck a chord with me most was, 'if something makes sense to you and nobody else, I think you should just go and do it'. In the last few months, many of the decisions I have made haven't really made any sense to anyone else, but I've still done them. I've begun to start thinking about what makes me happy right now, and learning to embrace that rather than constantly making decisions that are only going to change my future, not my present. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going completely off the rails and spiraling into a psychotic 'YOLO' stage, I'm simply doing more of what makes me happy. 

And I believe that this can only be a positive thing. Not just for my present 'now's' but also for my future ones. By experiencing more now, and making the most of each day as it is, I can feel myself moulding and blending into a better, happier person. This may mean that the aims for my future 'now's' shift slightly, altering their course to head towards happiness as well as practicality, but inevitably this will mean that the future me is happier than the one I had planned out before.

I think the main thing I took from Will's video this week was the knowledge that it's okay to do unexpected things, to explore pathways you never thought you would and most importantly, it's more than okay to make a decision based on your happiness over what others may deem as the best option. As long as you're content and comfortable with the decisions you're making, and you believe that they're going to have a positive affect for you one way or another in the long run, keep doing them. Even if all you end up with are some stories of your crazy youth to tell in the future, at least you can say you had a bloody good time.

We only have now. Don't live your life waiting on tomorrow, saving yourself for a time in the distant future. It may never come. Enjoy what you have now. Do more of the things that make you happy.

'We're young, we live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world; might as well have fun while we can and save the serious stuff for later.' - Summer, 500 Days of Summer. 

You can find Will's video here, as well as his channel which I would highly recommend you subscribing to.

As always, thanks for reading.

A

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xxx

Ten Years of McFly - My Story

So, the other night I was at the pub with a few friends and the subject of music taste was brought up. Anyone who knows me even remotely, will probably be aware that McFly are my favourite band. No, they're not constantly at the top of the charts. No, they're not the most popular thing around anymore but for me, good music isn't about that anyway. The size of the fan base does not dictate the quality of the music. Anyway, before I go running off on a tangent and start ranting, I thought I would share with you why McFly will always hold a special place in my heart.

I'll start at the very beginning, I've heard it's a very good place to start! Back in the summer of 2004, I saved up my pocket money and bought McFly's first album 'Room on the Third Floor.' Right from the start, I was hooked. They reminded me of Busted, and I bloody love Busted! I remember sitting on a bench with two friends at breaktime in my final year of primary school, studying the lyric book and memorising all the words. Oh yeah, I was one cool kid. Whilst those two were arguing over who's hair was the best, I used to sit there and think 'God, these songs are awesome!' Again, mega cool. Who needs to play Scarecrow tig when you can read?!

Back in those days, there was no such thing as iPods and smartphones -can you believe it?! We actually managed to cope without them! - and instead I was the proud owner of a CD Walkman. There I'd be, in the back of the car humming and singing along to whatever album was my favourite at the time. I used to go on holiday within the UK a lot and so long car journeys were something I did frequently. I used my time wisely, and introduced my family to my new obsession. One of the most memorable journeys I had was around the time when 'Obviously' first charted. The song had made it onto one of the NOW Compilation CD's which my sister collected. She and I used to attempt to hit play at the same time on our seperate Walkmans and listen to it 'together'. As you can probably imagine, this never worked well and so my grandparents were often treated to deafening recitals slightly out of time again and again until we eventually gave up.

The first time I got to see the boys perform live was relatively far into their career -the Radio:Active tour in November 2008. It was also the first gig I'd ever been to without an adult! Aw. I was incredibly excited during the lead up to it as I had envied my friends going to see them on the tours beforehand. Now it was finally my turn, and I was sure they wouldn't disappoint. My predictions were correct, and I had one of the best nights ever. Seeing them perform live only increased my love and respect for them, as I could truly understand how talented they are. Far too often we see manufactured boy bands step out onto stage and perform songs they haven't written, to backing tracks they haven't recorded along with dance moves they haven't choreographed. Don't get me wrong, cheesy pop music is not always a bad thing, but there is something so special when a band comes together and writes their own material and then play it live. It's more genuine, relatable and in my opinion creates a much better show. 

Since 2008, I have been to at least one gig of every other tour. One of my favourite moments was on the 'Keep Calm and Play Louder' tour in early 2012 when they played 'No Worries'. This isn't one of their most popular songs, yet it is definitely one of my favourites. I hadn't looked up the set list before going so I had no idea that it was going to be played. Danny quietened the crowd, and then him, Tom and Dougie grouped around one microphone and performed it acoustically. The amount of goosebumps I had was quite ridiculous. I think it was mainly because I never thought I'd get to hear it live and then I did.

In 2010, they did a radio tour to promote the next album and so I roped my mum into driving us to a nearby town so that I could finally meet the people who had been such a big part of my life. 

Yay for looking rough in photos I wanted to show off to everyone...

However, my favourite gig of all time happened earlier this year, September to be exact. McFly decided to celebrate their 10th birthday in style - by performing at the Royal Albert Hall and I was lucky enough to get tickets. I'd always wanted to visit RAH, and the fact that the first time I'd be going was to see them was pretty awesome. (Beware, if you weren't already overwhelmed by the amount of fangirling in this post, it'll more than likely get a lot worse now). I can't even properly find words to describe how much I loved the show. I've never cried at a gig before until then. The music combined with the VT's of them through the years, messages from loved ones, Tom in tears as he sang his McFly Musical was incredible. And then what did they go and do? Just when I thought it couldn't get any bloody better they go and bring out Matt Willis and James Bourne. TWO THIRDS OF BUSTED. Yep, it's safe to say all my childhood dreams came true at that moment, haha. 
Throughout the night, I felt like I'd been transported back to those days of reading the lyric book cover to cover all over again, and reliving it all. I've grown up alongside McFly. As their music has changed and evolved so have I, yet I've never stopped enjoying it. As cheesy/cliched as it sounds, no matter what times I've been through, good or bad, there's always been a song to fit the situation. Music is such a powerful thing, and their's has always been one of the first artists I turn to no matter what mood I'm in. And that night in September, I realised just how much their music meant to me. 
Not only did they play an amazing set, you could see how much it means to them. They truly do love what they do, and to see people live their dreams is pretty damn cool if you ask me. They're so genuine and down to earth compared to a lot of bands shoved into the limelight these days. I honestly believe that if they lost all their fanbase, McFly would still continue; they'd just be in a house somewhere rather than a packed venue. 

They are the first proper band I truly became invested in, and I genuinely feel proud when they accomplish things. As much as I may sound like a fangirl throughout this post, I'm not ashamed at all. In a way, I feel like I know them because of how big a part of my life they have been. They've worked hard for everything they've achieved and I can't wait to see what comes next for them, and for us! If you haven't listened to McFly before, check them out. People tend to still view them as these hyper teenage boys jumping around but they're so much more than that. They deserve a lot more recognition than they get.

Now time for the mega-cheese ending. Feeling prepared? Okay, here we go.

Another year over,
And we're still together,
It't not always easy,
But McFly's here forever.

As always, thanks for reading!

A
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xxxx

(P.S. I just have a lot of feelings okay.)