A Lesson.

For you thought you had it,

all figured out,

Bounding blindly through ignorance,

Without a shadow of doubt.

But then the truth, it came hurtling,

Left with nowhere to run

Down it came crashing,

You have no choice but to learn.

Don't let this beat you,

Do not give up,

Put yourself first,

And don't give a fuck.

Learn to let go,

Learn to start again, 

Learn how to love yourself,

How to be your own friend.

Learn to focus on what's

really important.

Work to make your dreams reality,

Don't leave them dormant.

For you are much more 

Than this stuff getting you down,

And although it doesn't feel like it,

You can turn this around.

And so now all that's left,

is down to you,

You've got to believe it, 

in order to get through.

Things will get worse

before they get better,

But you're strong enough to ride out,

this wave of shitty weather.

And soon you'll look back,

On this hurt; all this strife,

And you'll say

You know what?

It was just some bad days,

It's not a bad life. 

A

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Home: Just a concept?

Whenever I feel a flash of inspiration and I'm away from my laptop or notebook, I jot my ideas down in the 'Notes' section on my phone. I'm sure this isn't a surprising concept; many people do it. 

I found this note I'd left myself among the list of disjointed ramblings and thought I'd share it. So, here you have some thoughts conjured up many miles away from 'home'. 

As I type this, I'm sat on a plane 39,000 feet in the air on my way to Morocco to complete my charity expedition and (hopefully) summit Mount Toubkal. And as this metal tube hurtles it's way through the air at 499mph, I've been thinking a lot about the concept of home.

For a lot of people, the word 'home' conjures up images of parents, family, a childhood setting, maybe Christmas or other similar occasions. Family; security; safety. For others, it may mean a city, town, village; simply the place in which they're from. Somewhere they can ground themselves; a pivot from which they can resonate.

But for me, I'm unsure what home means. Sure, my first instinct would be to describe my mother's house; the place where I grew up. Or Coventry, as that's where I was born and where I've always lived. However, in the past year, I've lived in a number of houses in the same city, with a range of different people and they've all strangely felt at some point like 'home' to me. I don't know whether this just makes me an adaptable person, or whether I'm just a little lost.

So, I guess, what I would have to say is that for me, home can't be based solely on location or memories. It's a feeling, a concept. My home is wherever I feel most content; a place I can relax; a place filled with laughter, song, and most importantly, a place where I can be inspired. It can stay constant, or it can change without me even realising. 

I also feel a if a person can have more than one home. To me, the family home will always be my 'home', but it won't be the only home I have. And that's okay. 

I guess I'm lucky to have found more than one place where I can feel comfortable, and as long as I have that place to escape to when things get tough, everything will be okay one way or another.  

A

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'How do you measure, measure a year?'

My, oh my, 2013 you've been a crazy one haven't you? The year has whizzed by so fast, I'm left reeling as if it's all been a wonderful (okay, mostly wonderful) dream. 
As the festive season draws to a close, I've found myself reflecting on the metaphorical rollercoaster ride 2013 has been. I feel that I've accomplished a lot this year; 2013 has seen me begin many new chapters of my life, as well as improving on others. 

So, what better way to document and share with you my personal highlights of the past twelve months than a big smushy let's-get-overly-emotional-and-talk-about-all-the-good-things-that-have-happened type post!   

University

2013 has seen me complete my First Year at university, and dive headfirst into the stress that is 'Year Two'. I was apprehensive when beginning university as I was still in my home town, living with my family. I didn't move into Halls of Residence, I didn't have flat mates. Therefore, I was forced to put myself out there even more in order to make friends. This scared me for a number of reasons. Was I still going to get a good experience without having as much independance as those students that do move away? What if I couldn't make friends in a lecture because I'd be too busy scribbling down notes? Of course, as always, I was worrying far too much. Luckily, I met lovely people on my course and soon found my feet. 
I know it's super cliched to say but, University has quite frankly changed my life. I've learnt a lot, I've partied a lot, I've laughed a hell of a lot, and I've had a smile on my face an immeasurable amount more than the year before. I'm now a much more confident person; I've had the chance to take many opportunities that never would have arisen had I not stayed in education. I've also met some of the best people and made some very strong friendships that I hope to hold onto for many years to come.
Although it's not always easy, and I'm often up to my eyeballs in essay stress, I know that every moment is helping me to get to where I want to end up. And the fact that I'm getting to have fun alongside that is pretty darn great. 

Musical Theatre Society

Gah, I barely have words to describe how much this society means to me. I remember forcing myself to pluck up the courage to go to the Fresher's Induction back in 2012. I was terrified. And my God am I glad I went. Through it, I've met most of the amazing friends I mentioned above. During 2013, I had the opportunity to perform in two shows during my first year at University; 'Down on the Avenue' - an original showcase in January and 'Grease' the musical in May. I wrote a post about Grease in more detail, which you can view HERE. All of the people I met were so lovely and made me feel so welcome. I love my MTS family! 
At the end of the semester, when Elections for the new Committee arrived, I decided to challenge myself massively and ran for the role of President. Again, I wrote another post about this which you can catch up on HERE. I won the vote, and as of this September I have assumed the role of President. It has been tough at times, but I love it. In January, we will be performing our showcase, 'The Phantom of the Musical', and I cannot wait for people to see the amazingly talented, hard working members we have.
The most rewarding part of the role is knowing that I'm helping to give the new members a place they love as much as I did last year. Seeing them form friendships with people they may not have otherwise met, and hearing how much they are enjoying the whole experience makes all the late nights, endless emails, phone calls, forms, organising and problem solving stress worthwhile. 
I'm aware I sound like some form of deranged proud Mother, but I have a lot of feelings, okay?

Travels

2013 saw two firsts for me in travel. Back in July, my mum, my sister and I went on holiday for a week to Tenerife. This was the first holiday we'd been on just the three of us, and it was nice to take a time out from all things Internet and work (yes, I did just say it was nice to be away from the Internet) and enjoy some quality time together. I documented my time away in a good ol' post which you can view here. 
I also went on my first 'holiday' of sorts without any parental guidance in August. I spent the most amazing few days in London with one of my closest friends. We went to the YouTube gathering 'Summer in the City' and I spent my birthday evening watching my favourite musical Les Miserables live on the West End for the first time. It's safe to say August was very kind to me this year. If you'd like to hear more about my London adventures, I wrote more about them here, here and here. 

Gigs

Although I haven't been to that many gigs in 2013, the ones I have attended have been pretty spectacular. Most prominently McFly's 10th Anniversary gig at the Royal Albert Hall. That night was just incredible. In 2014, I intend on going to more, including 3 McBusted dates which I already have the tickets for. What? My inner 12 year old just couldn't deal with only one, okay? 

Birth of this blog

2013 saw me take the plunge back into blogging, and it's a decision I'm pleased I made. Although I haven't had as much time as I'd have liked to commit to creating more posts, I'm pleased with where I've got to so far. I'm still finding my feet here, but I intend on improving and writing more in 2014. I have a few little ideas brewing away in my mind and I'm looking forward to sharing them with you here, so I hope you plan on sticking around to see them! 

Without wanting to sound too cliched, I've changed and grown a lot this year. I feel like I'm slowly starting to 'find myself' for want of a better phrase, and it feels good. Positivity is the way forward!

What better way to end this post than with a photo montage of my favourite memories?

(It's okay, I cringed too.)

2013, you've been a blast. 2014, you've got a lot to live up to but I look forward to seeing what you have to bring!

For those of you that haven't seen my previous post on New Year's Resolutions for next year, you can view it here.
Alrighty then! I think that just about rounds up my posts for this year. Thankyou for reading, and for following if you have. It means a lot.
See you in January!

A
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How I'm Feeling At The Moment

Hello,

Lately, I have been avoiding blogging for a number of reasons. One being that I am simply swamped under with uni work at the moment, but another (and the most prominent) is that I haven't wanted to fill the page with negativity. Even now as I sit at my desk typing this, I'm finding myself at a loss of what to say. I haven't wanted to create a generic piece just for the sake of posting something, I've wanted to write something real but I struggled with what. So, I have decided that I'm simply going to tell you all how I'm feeling in the hope that it will help me to free up some of the space currently filled with negativity, making from for positivity and productivity!

This year at university has already seen me come across a number of challenges, for instance being President of a Society. This takes up a vast amount of my 'spare' time, but I am loving every moment of it. Musical Theatre means the world to me as cliched as it sounds. The friends I have made within the society are some of the best I will ever make, and my experience last year truly shaped my university life. Therefore, I am determined to work hard to create the same (if not better) experience for the new members that have joined us this term. This means I am frequently adding many more items to my to-do list before I've managed to cross any off! Luckily for me though,working under pressure is when I perform at my best and so this is a challenge I am willing to accept again and again.

The main challenge I am stuggling with the most at the moment is living away from home. Despite being in the same city that I grew up in, and being able to see my family on most weekends, something just doesn't feel right. Unfortunately, I feel the reason is down to one of the people I am living with.

Last year, myself and two friends put down a deposit for a house for us all to live in the following September. But, in the middle of Summer, right before we had to start making rent payments, one of the girls dropped out choosing to live with the boyfriend she had recently got engaged to. Helpful, not. We were left up the creek without a paddle as my Grandad would say! Myself and my friend contacted practically everyone we knew, but it was too short notice for anyone to be able to afford to move in with us. We were left with having to advertise the property and live with someone we had never met before. I found this extremely daunting as not only had I never moved away from my family, but now it was to be in with someone I had never met. 

To cut a long story short, we found a guy willing to move in and everything was settled. Or so it seemed. Although there is nothing wrong with him personally, I find him extremely difficult to live with. He cooks on average 3-5 massive cakes a week which he then eats, yet is being extremely picky about electricity bills. He has stunk the house out with various foods, the main being fish pie and a huge pork joint. As well as this, I find him to be very uncomfortable to be around. Because he is a few years older than myself, I feel like he believes he has to prove this all the time as he consistently patronises me on a regular basis. It has got to the point now that my other housemate and I come back from lectures and go to our rooms. That is where we stay until we go down to cook, and then come back again. The living room simply doesn't get used as you can't have a conversation without being corrected or interrupted all the time. I don't feel homesick because I'm away from home, I feel homesick because I'm uncomfortable where I am.

However, I have decided that I am not going to let this get me down any longer. I am paying good money to live in this house, and so I want to feel happy in it! From now on, I am banishing all negative vibes from myself, and am purely going to focus on being positive. I am very fortunate to have a lot of great things in my life, and so when I'm down I will put my energy into those, and into creating something rather than just sulking. I'm aware that this post will not be good reading for many of you, but I needed somewhere to let it out. I often find that by writing down my troubles, my brain forms solutions for them at the same time! 

Hopefully, my inspiration will filter through at some point soon and I will have some worthwhile content for you to read!

Have you ever had any bad experiences similar to mine? How did you cope with them?

A

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